Relativity

So I'm not sure these are the blogs that make for the most interesting reading. I feel this might only be instructional at a later date, for my own personal consideration. I think those that are more universally interesting are those which aren't so terribly deep and are easily accessible to the everyman perusing the web. Daily doses of introspection are awkward and tedious. But that's ok. I'm not writing this for you, though I welcome any thoughts.

After a series of disappointing relationships, and difficult personal growth, I've developed a sense of cynicism towards the whole enterprise of dating and romance. It's as though I've seen behind the curtain, seen the actors putting on their makeup and costumes, seen the cards up the juggler's sleeves, seen the invisible wires that hold the performers in the air. The repetition, predictability, familiarity of the dance has stripped the lustre from the show, it's lost it's mystery and allure. Except what drive raw hormones provide. But even that admission furthers the disillusionment, the concession that the whole process is just a derivative cycle governed not by some ethereal, indefinable magnetism between to people who could be soul mates, but merely your body telling you to get it on.

Perhaps this disenchantment will fade with the further realisation that, while all this may be true, none of it matters, because it's all we have, and if that's all we have then it matters more than anything and the tawdry, sullied secrets of biology and the familiarity of the charade is nothing to disdain, but rather be enjoyed because it is what it is.

I'm looking for that sweet abandonment that comes with the rapture of being enthralled with someone. Forgetting yourself, putting aside obligations, losing everything but the bliss of the moment. Finding that person who erases your awareness of all else, is that a reasonable hope? Is that even a good thing?

Sometimes you do meet someone though. Sometimes you do, and she changes your mind.